Lines for Ladies
By Pat McAlister

 

 

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message, “one slice’? How many pieces of bread do they think people are gonna try to stuff in that slot?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures? Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying clothes would they eventually disappear?

When we are in the super-market and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “it’s all right’? When it isn’t all right.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat?

How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they’re okay, then it’s you.