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Lines for Ladies
By Pat McAlister
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color of
bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are
not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to
the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have
materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they
engrave the message, “one slice’?
How many pieces of bread do they
think people are gonna try to stuff in
that slot?
Why do people keep running over a
string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more
chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag
will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into
those closed light fixtures?
Considering all the lint you get in
your dryer, if you kept drying clothes
would they eventually disappear?
When we are in the super-market and
someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for
doing so, why do we say, “it’s all
right’? When it isn’t all right.
Why is it that whenever you attempt
to catch something that’s falling off
the table you always manage to
knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference
between a yard sale and a trash
pickup is how close to the road the
stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat?
How come we never hear father-in-law
jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one
out of every four Americans is
suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best
friends, if they’re okay, then it’s you.
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